Saturday, June 30, 2007

the ultra religious invasion

It saddens me when I see the Egyptian society becoming a backward ultra religious male dominated and female oppressing society.

I was invited to an engagement party and the scene there was horrifying:

The father of the bride borrowed his neighbour's appartment in order to seggregate men and women. The women in the girls flat and the men in the neighbour's flat.

Ofcoarse no music, no dancing and no open bar. Just bearded men sitting and talking.

In the women's flat all were either veiled or niqabed and the same sombre mood. More like a funeral really.

Throughout the "party" the groom stayed in the men's flat. I asked the father of the bride how the groom will offer the engagement ring to his fiancee if they are in two different flats and the answer I got was: "The groom's mother will give the ring to the girl"!!!

"Why?" I asked in horror and the girl's father said, "if we let him give her the ring himself he will have to hold her hand and that would be haram wouldn't it?"

What the fuck is going on in this country? Has everybody gone mad? These are not hard line terrorists. They are supposed to be normal people. The Egyptian society has transformed over the past 30 years from a relaxed secular society to a weirdly radicalized one thanks to Iran and Saudi Arabia.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Tony Blair

The British prime minister Tony Blair resigned today and will take up a new role as "International Middle East Peace Envoy".

I don't know how useful this will be, but George Galloway made an interesting comment:

It's like appointing Count Dracula as head of the blood transfusion services

Britain is a country where prime ministers stay in power for a long time (relatively). Since Mubarak came to power in 1980, only four British prime ministers took turns:

Margaret Thatcher: 1979-90
John Major: 1990-97
Tony Blair: 1997-2007
Gordon Brown: today

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hot dogs

One of my work colleagues bought me lunch yesterday... a hot dog! I thanked him, but he doesn't know that I didn't eat it. I hate hot dogs, simply because I do not know what it is. A hot dog looks to me like a condom filled with minced cow eyelids and other revolting body parts which I do not even want to think about.

Speaking of condoms, imagine if major brands started making their own condoms and kept the same motto.

Nike Condoms - Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no motto needed
Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world

Oh, and the Egyptian government today announced that it is changing its emblem from the eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.


Friday, June 22, 2007

Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood

Hamas is a branch of the muslim brotherhood, and the Egyptian governing party (the NDP) and Fatah are two of a kind. This is why I was not surprized at all when I read this.

The NDP dudes clashed with the muslim brother gang in parliament yesterday.

It started with the Arab affairs committe in the parliament issuing a statement condemning Hamas. Ofcoarse the muslim brothers were furious and went ballistic in defence of their Hamas buddies, so the NDP boys confronted them to defend their Fatah friends.

It's a shame they didn't have weapons.

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

A brain fart

I started blogging on the internet 47 years ago when computers were made out of wood and switched on with a مانافيللا. During this long period I like to think that I have gained a little bit of wisdom.

I discovered for example that my posts are not worth ثلاثة تعريفة. They must be worthless because Ali Gomaa is still the mufti, the muslim brothers are still popular, the police are still torturing people, Kareem Amer is still in prison and Mubarak will remain president till he dies.

I realized that finding a topic to blog about is like trying to stop a taxi in Cairo, you wait for ages and nothing happens and then three come at the same time.

But I also learned that there are things in life that I will never understand like why is a meal cooked in the oven called مسقعة? Why is the pot we boil tea in called براد? Why can't Egyptians learn how to queue? Why women still wear the veil? Why is Egyptian state TV still watched?


A fine mess

This is a video of Hamas executing a Fatah commander on the streets of Gaza. Sameeh Al Madhoon is alledged to have killed and tortured some Hamas boys and they got their revenge.

If somebody had told me ten years ago that Palestinians were going to fight each other, I would thought that he's drunk or stoned.

What we are seeing in Gaza is a major turning point in the Palestinian story, but the story is not much different in other parts of the middle east because the ingredients of this fine mess are:

1) Corrupt government
2) Islamist opposition
3) Silent majority

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Hamas spokesman.... a very tough job

Whenever I hear Islamists preaching about virtue and jihad, the needle on my bullshit-o-meter roars to maximum twang. This is a very interesting video posted on Youtube that shows the Hamas government spokesman Ghazi Hamad hanging out with babes.

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Sunday, June 17, 2007

Farag Fouda

During the month of June, 15 years ago two members of Al Gamaa Al Islameya murdered the great Egyptian secular thinker Farag Fouda. He died for the secular values that he believed in. The jihadi fundamentalists could not silence this brave man and did not have enough brains to challenge his thought and engage in a civilized debate with him. Fouda kicked their fundi ass like noone ever did he exposed their ignorance and stupidity so they killed him and as horrible as that may sound,I admit that since the day Farag Fouda was killed, I never sympathized with Islamists who are tortured or killed in Egyptian jails or in Guantanamo or wherever. They are just getting a taste of their own medicine.


Saturday, June 16, 2007

Saudi Arabia

Over the past 50 years, the kingdom of Saudi Arabia negatively influenced the whole Middle East and probably the whole world by being a mecca of both fanatical Islam and corruption.

This a very interesting document written by Willie Morris, the British Ambassador in Saudi Arabia from 1968 to 1972.


Friday, June 15, 2007

The Palestinian's Historic Achievement

I suspect that the Palestinians are the first people in the history of mankind to kill each other while under occupation. Has this ever happened before?

113 Palestinians killed by other Palestinians in just a few days.

How can this happen? This is what you get when you have crazy Islamists who pretend that they want to save their people, but in reality they want power.

But is power in Gaza worth killing for in the name of god or in any other name? Who wants to be the Palestinian prime minister and be in charge of this fucking mess?

Hamas stands for "Islamic resistance movement". It is not clear to me now what it is exactly they are resisting.

I put that picture of Abdel Fattah El Osary because he is one of my favourite comedians. He was a very cool dude and if you disagree with this I will delete your comment :) If he was alive today, I wonder what his reaction would be to the events in Gaza. I am sure he would have come up with a great line.

I believe that fanatical and political Islam will fuck up whatever good things we still have left.

In our radicalized Arab societies today even Abdel Fattah Osary is under attack. remeber his classic pick up line that he used to say whenever he saw a beautiful lady:

"يا أرض احفظي ما عليكي"

Meaning something like: May the ground that you are walking on protect you.

Well apparently, as I recently found out, this pick up line is haram. Why? Because only god protects people...

سبحان الله

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Iconic image of Islamic fuckup

The Islamists have fucked up again. .This time in Gaza.

This image captured today and beamed on TV screens around the world is going to go down in history of the middle east.

Its shows surrendering Fatah fighters, some being brought out in their underwear with their arms in the air as the green flag of Hamas was raised above the Preventive Security headquarters in Gaza City.

This is the worst possible thing that can happen to the Palestinians. Hamas has seriously screwed all Palestinians.

The problem with Islamists is that they think they are god's gift to us, but in fact they are the ones who will ensure our destruction. Egypt is not very far from the same fate.

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Sarkozy Mubarak Secret

A few years ago, Mubarak decided that he will be suceeded by a clone of himslef. He went to France and got cloned.

But the French decided to keep the clone for themselves.

No problem. We have a back up plan.


Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Niqab at AUC Madness

An Egyptian court ruled on Saturday that the American University in Cairo (AUC) was wrong to bar a female scholar who wears the f***ing niqab from using its library.

The woman sued the AUC over the niqab because she wanted to defend her "personal and religious freedom" and the AUC said that "while it recognized the need to respect the religious values of students, it had barred the niqab due to safety concerns."

I think that both this mad woman and the AUC are full of shit.

I don't care what wahabis and their Egyptian friends say, the niqab should be banned everywhere and men and women who believe in this ancient bedouin form of female oppression should be treated as mental cases and afforded professional psychiatric help. Personal freedom my ass. If the AUC is really "a bastion of Western liberal education in Egypt", why don't the take a strong stand against the niqab instead of this pathetic pussyfooting?

And its ridiculous that courts are wasting time on this kind of shit. Courts should have better things to do like trying drug dealers corrupt officials and police officers who torture people.

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Friday, June 08, 2007


"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? And tht's why infants do not enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery.


Thursday, June 07, 2007

Egyptian TV News, Bush and Abul Gheit

Last night an Egyptian TV news announcer came on air and quoted our foreign minister Ahmed Abul Gheit as saying:

What President Bush said about Egypt is an unacceptable interference in our internal affairs.

That's it. Without giving any indication to what Bush said about Ayman Nur. Very informative isn't it?

But Egyptian TV ignored another Abul Gheit quote:

The depth of Egyptian-American relations allows Egypt to express its astonishment and upset toward these statements

What an idiotic statement. Is he saying that if Egyptian American relations were not "deep enough", then Egypt would not have expressed it's "astonishment and upset"? Or is Abul Gheit just trying to water down the criticism, i.e. what he said translates to:

Mind your own bloody business Bush, but we love you America.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Wireless phones

Wireless phones are a very bad idea, because if one of your neighbors has an identical set chances are they can snoop in on you.

Last night I picked up my wireless phone to call a friend. As soon as I put the phone on my ears, I could hear my neighbor talking to his girlfriend and I discovered that my neighbor is a scum bag.

She was crying because he hit her and the son of a bitch was trying to justify himself and convince her that he hit her because he loved her and "wanted to make her a better person". What a piece of shit.


Saturday, June 02, 2007

Egypt Air

The difference between Egypt Air and decent airlines is:

In decent airlines:
Hostess: Would you like your dinner Sir?
You: Yes please, what's my choice?
Hostess: Chicken or beef.

In Egypt Air:
Hostess: Are you going to eat?
You: What's my choice?
Hostess: Yes or no?


Friday, June 01, 2007


Lately I have been on the receiving end of some of the most extreme forms of stupidity that you can immagine. I am angry because I didn't react the way I would have liked because it all happened at work. Why is it unprofessional to tell a stupid person that he is a fucking idiot? It's an undestatement in this case.

Remeber John McEnroe? OK, When a moron insists on being a moron and refuses to budge, I feel like screaming like McEnroe used to scream at umpires: