Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Everybody Stay Away From Me

When I look at myself in the mirror and find that I look exactly like the picture on my passeport, that's when I know I need a vacation. Yeah, it's bad. This is how I feel now when anyone I work with talks to me:


Stress Management Technique

Here is a stress management technique recommended by a recent psychological research:

Picture yourself at a beautiful spot on the sea side. Seagulls are gently gliding in the air. No one knows your secret place. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the office". The soothing sound of the sea is so relaxing. The water is clear. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water...

There you go...

feeling better?


Sunday, July 29, 2007

Men with long pinky nails

I hate it when men grow their pinky nails and it is extremely disgusting when they start using it to scratch their ears or pick their noses.

Why do people still do this?

I remember it was much more common in the seventies. It was even fashionable. Those were the days when men had ridiculous hair styles and wore the horrible safari suits and carried samsonite suitcases. Oh and remember those horrible little leather cases that every government employee in Egypt used to carry?


Saturday, July 28, 2007


Tawfiq El Deqen was a great actor and comedian. He specialized in playing evil characters (gangster, criminal, sleaze ball, etc.) in a hilarious way.

One if his classic lines was "أحسن من الشرف مفيش" (there is nothing better than honor). He used to say this after every crime he committed.

Which reminds me of the famous verse by the Arab poet Al Mutanabbi:

لا يسلم الشرف الرفيع من الأذى حتى يراق على جوانبه الدم

Translation: Pure honor cannot avoid harm unless blood is spilled on it's sides. Another translation of this line would be: You cannot be honorable unless you become a fucking psychotic serial killer.

Honor in our society is usually associated with oppressing women under the guise of protecting them and their honor.

This concept of honor may have been OK centuries ago, but civilization moved on and in the modern secular world this kind of "honor" is not a big deal anymore. People's characters are judged by things like honesty, integrity, and fairness.

Why can't we move on? Can anybody out there tell me? How can we live in a country where people use mobile phones, the internet, satellite TV and at the same time some men kill their sisters and mothers and daughters if they are perceived as having brought dishonor to their families?

Honor killings are committed in Egypt by both muslims and copts, so its not a religious thing. It's an ancient piece of cultural shit that doesn't want to go away in some countries, but why?


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Latest News...

The Egyptian government is taking the water shortage problem very seriously.

The prime minister, Ahmad Nazif held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the book shelf and argued with the couch.


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Egypt, the sex crazed nation

According to this, Egypt has the third largest number of people searching for sex on google after India and Pakistan.

India has 40 million internet users and Pakistan has 12 million, but Egypt has only 5 million internet users, which means that we have the highest percentage of internet users searching for sex in the world.

What does this make us? The internet's biggest dickheads?

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Rizana Nafeek

Tonight is the deadline for appeals in the case of Rizana Nafeek, a teenage Sri Lankan maid in Saudi Arabia found guilty of killing a baby in her care and sentenced to death.

Rizana was 17 at the time of the alleged crime. Her job was not meant to include child care and she denied killing the baby. She claims the child accidently choked while being bottle fed.

Unless the authorities change the sentence or the parents of the victim offer clemency, Nafeek will have her head cut off.

Labels: ,

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Mrs. Bin Laden Again

The story of Bin laden's son marrying a British grandmother twice his age has taken an interesting twist.

Omar Osama Bin Laden is upset about the publicity that his wedding attracted. He told Al Watan Newspaper that her nationality is not an issue for him. What matters to him is her religion and her good behavior, but according to this Mrs. Bin Laden's behaviour hasn't been that good. She has been cheating on the Al Qaida's big boss's son. What will Omar Bin Laden do now? Stone his new bride to death?

The other interesting thing is that in this article, Mrs. Bin Laden is quoted as saying that her husband trained to be a terrorist in Afghanistan till he was 19 years old, but then he left his father "because he wanted to see the world and didn't want to fight and die young."

This is really amazing. Osama Bin Laden persuaded loads of young men to die for him, but couldn't convince his own son or maybe he didn't want to.

Labels: , , ,

Friday, July 13, 2007

Kicking Fundi Ass

I found this gem on youtube. The secular Egyptian writer Sayed Al Qemni kicking Fundi ass on Al Jazeera. He absolutely obliterated a guy from Al Gamaa Al Islamiya live on Bin Laden TV. Watch it and tell me what you think...


Thursday, July 12, 2007

A Match Made In Heaven

Egypt is a very romantic country.

Ofcoarse. It is where these two love birds met.

She is Jane Felix-Browne, a 51 year old grandmother from the UK and he is 27 year old Omar Osama Bin Laden.

They say love is blind, but in this case love is dementiated beyond repair.

The bride has a son who is 33 years old (from a Saudi man who knew the Bin Laden family) and she has several grandchildren.

Bin Laden is Jane's fifth husband and he is already married and has a 2 year old kid. Jane spoke to the other wife just to make sure she is cool about the idea of her marrying her husband.

Omar was raised in Saudi Arabia, then Sudan then Afghanistan and he was trained to be a terrorist in Afghanistan, but Jane says that he is so sweet and gentle and cannot hurt a fly. Yeah right.

She looks pretty good for a 51 year old grandmother, doesn't she. Well, that's because she had undergone plastic surgery, including a breast enhancement 13 years ago and larger implants inserted two years ago. She said she has also had a facelift and a tummy tuck, but she suffers from multiple sclerosis.

This mess couldn't have occurred anywhere in the world but Egypt.

Labels: , , , ,

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Members of the Egyptian government and their security apparatuses should be shitting in their pants because there worrying signs of dissent.

First there was the wildcat strikes staged by overworked and underfed factory workers, then the protests staged by the Sinai Bedouins protesting against the the way they are treated by the police and the government.

The latest sign of dissent are the protests of angry Egyptians who are sick and tired of living without drinking water in their homes. It started in Kafr El Sheikh and then Mahalla.

Not good.


Sunday, July 08, 2007


Great picture. Speaks volumes about the state we are in.

According to the sticker, this is a first class banana.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Want to Work for Durex?

I sent an email to Durex inviting them to do their recruitment in Egypt. I am sure the mufti won't mind.