Kalb-Baladi

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Egypt Vs Algeria... Pure Hatred

There are rumours that Algerian and Egyptians soccer fans died in clashes and attacks and confirmed news that many were injured and others died from heart attacks...

The hatred and incitement is mad. A TV presenter openly called for killing Algerians in Egypt in retaliation against attacks on Egyptians in Sudan after the match.

Sports were not meant for us. When people go out to attack and kill because they won or lost a football match it proves how screwed up in the head they are.

Now lets look at this from a slightly different angle. Something doesn't make sense here because Algerians and Egyptians should be best buddies. They have so much in common: Both have a passion for religious fundamentalism. They love the hijab and the niqab. They live under dictatorships. They are poor and oppressed. Not very keen on hard work. Hypocrites, stupid, cowards.

Come on assholes keep up the stoning and the beating till you finish each other off. You dont really deserve to live.

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Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Egypt Vs Algeria Match: Why is it such a big deal?

Unlike the Sandmonkey, I love football. But never before have I been so pissed off by the way the Egyptian state controlled media machine handled a game.

OK it is an important game and the FIFA World Cup is the second biggest international sports event after the Olympics, but in the end isn't it just a soccer game? Maybe not.

The world cup will be in June 2010 and in that same month the Egyptian parliamentary elections will be held. The participation of the Egyptian team in the world cup would present a perfect distraction from all the bullshit that is going on and would make us all feel good.

The Egyptian media is trying desperately hard to turn this match into a patriotic orgi. An event that will unify all Egyptians and give them hope and confidence. Mubarak attended a team training session and Egyptian TV is awash with patriotic songs played with soccer video and images of Mubarak and his son and heir apparent Gamal. What is the link between Gamal and the World Cup? I don't know.

I never thought I would say this: I want Egypt to lose.

Update: I was kidding. Didn't really mean it. I am happy we won the Cairo match :)))

Update: Algeria won in Sudan but both sides are assholes and this is not football

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

So it's the niqab now??



I am really pissed off because the last thing I remember was that we were having a debate about whether women should wear the veil or not. This has now developed (or regressed to be more accurate) into a debate on whether the fucking niqab should be worn.

This is a brief chronology of our sad regression: 60 or 70 years ago people like Salama Mousa were promoting very liberal and progressive ideas about women rights and liberation. 30 or 40 years ago you would walk in the streets od Cairo and not see a single veil (back then there were two types of women: the westernized and the baladi with their "melaya laf" which I do not consider a veil. It is more of a traditional dress like the Indian sari). Women back then were well on their way to freedom and empowerment. They were getting jobs and careers and achieving some really impressive shit.

Come the eighties (the Iran revolution, Sadat assasination and the CIA paying fucking millions to prop up the mujahedeen in Afghanistan against the evil soviets) we started seeing the veil and islamistts were definitely on the rise.

From there, things got from bad to worse with the help of some really nasty dudes like Sadat, Reagan, Bin laden and Dubya (to mention just a few).

Well. Tonight booze is the answer cause I dont like the question.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fake Virginity

Poor Egyptian women. They take so much shit from us men.

If you are an Egyptian man just try to envisage yourself with the misfortune of being born a woman... From childhood, your male dominated society will make you feel guilty and bad about yourself. You are nothing but a sex object owned by your father till he hands you over to your husband.

You marry a dude you never really loved. You married him because he is "suitable" and you have to be a virgin when you marry him. If you are not, you're screwed (or honour killed). If yu are a virgin, you're screwed just the same because you'll spend the rest of your life with him.

If you are a man you can have premarital sex... no problem at all, but if you are a woman its a different story. You are a sharmoota (whore) unless you get a hymen repair or buy a virginity faking device.

So a woman who can fake her virginity, then fake orgasms and fake faithfulness makes her husband a truly happy man living a fake life thanking god everyday for giving him a wonderful wife and wonderful kids who may not be his anyway.

To women it doesnt matter if you deceive the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. If he wants a virgin, give him a virgin.

We men think that by being dick heads we will ensure domination over women. Why do we insist on marrying virgins? Whats so great about virgins?

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Ramadan Facsism

Arresting people for eating or drinking in public during Ramadan was unthinkable a few years ago. This is scary.

I generally don't eat or drink in public in Ramadan, but I reserve my right to do so if I fucking wish to. Last week I genuinely forgot about the fasting thing and I lit up a cigarette in the street. People gave me creepy looks and taxis wouldn't stop for me. Then all of a sudden it hit me and I threw the cigarette away. I cant believe that I could have been arrested.

How can they do this in a country where one in ten people is a Christian? I don't get it, what is the fucking message here? Do they want to force people to fast? Why? What if a Muslim (or a non-Muslim) doesn't want to fast, why should he or she pretend to be fasting? And why is it offending to people who are fasting to see someone eating or drinking? Who is behind this?

The saddest thing for me was to the amount of support for the arrests. Listen to what the pimp Ezzat Abu Aouf said.

This is very dangerous because once we start going down the slippery slope of religious fascism, Egypt will become another Afghanistan in no time.

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

مصر شديدة أوي يا أولاد

الدكنور أحمد نظيف رئيس الوزراء عمل لقاء مع مجموعة من طلبة الجامعات في معسكر أبو قير.

معسكر أبو قير ده عبارة عن مصيف رخيص لطلبة الجامعات (الذكور فقط طبعاً) بس التنظيم والمحاضرات واللقاءات كلها في إيد الحزب الوطني. يعني من الآخر عاملين المعسكر عشان يلملموا ألاضيشهم.

المهم. أحمد نظيف إداها بقين نخع في اللقاء وقعد يقول إن مصر بخير ومافيش أنفلونزا خنازير ولا طاعون.

وقال كمان أن مصر ماشية على طريق التحول لدولة متقدمة.

وطالب الشباب إنه يسرع العجل بفتح العين والجيم. وبإنه يشتغل وينتج ويبدع ويبقى عنده طموح وقدرات.

التعليقات اللي جاية على كلام نظيف في جريدة المصري اليوم تستحق القراءة. واحد اسمه أبو ريم باعت يقول:

بعد قليل اخرج معاش ومنذ تخرجى وانا اسمع نفس الحديث وتزداد الامور سوءاً


إيه يا أبو رسم مالك مستعجل كده ليه. هو خلاص الناس معندهاش صبر. إيه يا أخي هي الدنيا حتطير. طبعا الأمور حتتحسن بس مش لازم في حياتك ولا في حياة أولادك.. المهم إن الأمور حتتحسن إن شااااااااااااااااااء الله.

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Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Bongo

Just try to follow the sequence of events in this article:

6th of May: The 45 year old wife of Gabon's president Omar Bongo dies. A presidential statement said he had "suffered a shock of great emotional intensity after the premature death of his young wife following a long illness." And he temporarily suspends his duties to rest and mourn the death of his beloved wife.

8th of June: Omar Bongo dies. There are speculations that the corrupt leader's son (who happens to be the defence minister) will take over!

Now with the death of Bongo who ruled Gabon for 41 years, our president Mubarak becomes the longest serving president in Africa.

"Hey. Gaddafi has been in power since 1969", I hear you shouting.

Maybe... but remember that Gaddafi gave up power in 1979 and the Libyan people took over.

Being the longest serving African president is quite an achievement. You only have to do 4 or 5 years to be the longest serving president in Europe, but those African dudes are very hard to beat.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mubarak's Grandson Sudden and Mysterious Death

It's a tragedy when any child dies, but to be absolutely honest I didn't think the story would generate alot of interest.

I was very wrong. It was one of the most searched and read topics on the internet today and the news generated loads of comments and reactions on websites and blogs and tweets...

There was alot of schadenfreude (a German word which means gloating at someones misfortune) or شماتة in Arabic like this blog which I find a bit distasteful although I am not a big fan of Mubarak. I guess it shows how unpopular the old geezer is.

No explanation was announced so the rumours swirled. Leukemia, brain haemorrhage and ynet said it was food poisoning.

Mubarak did not attend the funeral and this also triggered rumours about his health.

Egyptian TV is playing religious songs as a sign of respect for the presidential family. This is a bit annoying. I dont wacth Egyptian state TV but it kinda pisses me off that a public service should be interrupted because of one family's tragedy.

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Monday, May 04, 2009

Mubarak's birthday

The Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak is celebrating his 81st birthday today quietly at home with his family.

Mubarak came to power in 1981 after his predecessor Anwar Al Sadat got shot to pieces during a military parade.

Some people say Mubarak is a dictator who allowed corruption to spread in Egypt and stifled all forms of opposition but allowed Islamists to gain ground.

His critics on the other hand are less generous.

Happy birthday.

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Sunday, May 03, 2009

In Egybt, we kill za big

Police clashed with grabage collectors who raise pigs in Manshiyet Naser today.

Egyptian government officials are well known for their ineptness and stupidity, but every once in a while they demonstrate phenomenal ass-holiness. They decided to slaughter the entire pig population of Egypt (with a few exceptions) to protect the country from the swine flu.

The World Health Organization and other UN bodies tried to explain that killing za bigs is not necessary, but the decision has already been taken and they didnt want to look stupid by raising their hands and admitting they were wrong.

Instead the authorities have now expanded the rationale for the slaughter beyond swine flu to a larger campaign against unsanitary pig farming conditions, particularly in the Cairo slums where the garbage collectors live... Very clever.

The true motive is to appease the Islamists, but this is a very dangerous game. Today it's pigs, tomorrow who knows? Maybe communists or athiests or gays or belly dancers??? We'll see.

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

Mubarak Will Never Die

Isn't it weird that ten years ago there was more talk about who will succeed Mubarak than there is today? I think we all realize now that we got it completely wrong back then. The man will never die. Yes, he is immortal. He will certainly outlive Omar Soliman and his son Gamal will become Egypt's prince Charles, forever waiting for daddy to abdicate or die but neither will happen. Mubarak is a fit and energetic eighty year old. Not a single grey hair in his head and he is constantly travelling all over the place looking great. His mother died when she was 105 in a car accident, so he is going nowhere for at least 20 years. Forget about succession.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Middle East:: Land of the Assholes

As much as I hate Hamas and what they represent especially after what happened in Gaza (which is primarily their fault), I hate the Israelis who are orchestrating all the Gaza shit. What the fuck do they think they are doing? Does Livni think that killing babies will make her prime minister? Is that it?

And watching the news tonight, I saw huge demonstrations against the killing of Gazan children and civillians in Paris, London, Australia and Indonesia. Apart from a small demonstration in the West Bank there was abso-fucking-lutely no reaction from the Middle East? The explanation is simple, Muslim and Arab brothers don't give a shit and they are ruled by dick heads who dont like demonstrations. In short, maybe the Gazan children who died are better off this way. Who wants to live in a place inhabited only by assholes?

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The Hamas Dickheads Exposed

More than a year ago a video emerged on Youtube showing a senior Hamas official, Ghazi Hamad hanging out with babes. Very un-hamas isn't it? Interestingly someone managed to get the original video off Youtube, but it was posted again.

Where is Ghazi Hamad now? Any wild guesses? Is he fighting with the Mujahideen? No. Is he planning the strategy in a secret bunker in Gaza? No. Is he firing Qassams? No. I'll tell you...

The coward, the chicken, the little fundi piece of shit is in Egypt to coordinate relief efforts with Egyptian officials. He appeared on Egyptian TV today on the Egyptian side of Rafah talking to the governor of North Sinai and looking very serious. Ghazi Hamad... fuck you... relief effort my ass... why aren't you with your people? You started this shit didn't you?.

People, this is Hamas and this is how all jihadi dickheads are. They pretend to be pious and pure but all along they are nothing but corrupt greedy power crazed bullshitters. If you were a Palestinian would you die for Hamas? I certainly wouldn't.

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Monday, January 05, 2009

Palestinians and Israelis are Doomed

The images of dead and imjured Palestinian babies and children beamed on TV 24 hours a day are very disturbing. Many see the Israeli actions as criminal and disproportionate which kinda makes sense given that the arithmetic of death stands currently at 500+ Palestinians (including more than 100 children) to 5 Israelis. The weird thing is that the Israelis who say they are defending themselves have killed a hell of alot of civillians, but they claim that they are doing their utmost best to avoid civillian deaths, while Hamas are deliberately trying to kill Israeli civillians with their ineffective Qassams because this is the only way at their disposal to resist the occupation. Who has the moral high ground here? Does Israel have a right to protect its civillians from the Hamas rockets at any cost or do the Palestinians have the right to resist? Both sides have historical and religious justifications and both believe their own shit. Only two ways forward from here, either a quick solution to the Arab Israeli conflict which seems very unlikely or a continuation of the killing and the suffering for years to come with more suicide attacks on Israeli pizza parlours and more killing of Palestinian children.

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Sunday, January 04, 2009

The Blessed Al Jazeera Channel

A Hamas spokesman described Al Jazeera TV as the "blessed channel" during a live interview today. He said that the Qatari channel was doing a great job by showing the pictures of dead and injured Palestinians over and over again. See how Islamists like Hamas use religion not only to brain wash people and to justify their insanity but also to "bless" all those who support them.

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Saturday, January 03, 2009

The Hamas Fuck-up

I know that this might irritate alot of people, but I really believe that the Hamas dudes are stupid dick heads. The death toll before the ground invasion started is 446 Palestinians killed and 2050 wounded. A third of the casualities are civillians according to the UN. On the Israeli side four were killed (2 Jews, a Druze and a bedouin). Are they going to call this a devine vicotry when it's over? I was watching their Al Aqsa TV a couple of days ago and it made me sick. Glorifying their stupidity and playing out the revolting Al Qaeda style sing song anthems. This fuck up is no more justified than the Hizbollah 2006 devine crap.

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Death in Gaza

Why couldn't they put the bunny back in the box?

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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Free Karim

The blogger Karim Amer has been in jail for two years. He is an innocent man who was hounded by a bunch of dick heads and betrayed by his own family.

Enough..

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Why don't they just let people fuck?

Two pieces of news caught my attention lately. The first from Somalia, where hardline Somali Islamists have stoned to death a 23-year-old woman for adultery. During the stoning furious relatives surged forward to try to save the woman, prompting guards to open fire, killing a child. Sickening shit. The second is from Egypt where police have arrested a senior civil servant and his wife accusing them of swapping sex partners with other couples. If a woman commits adultery, is that a problem? Maybe, but its a problem between her and her husband and there is no reason whatsoever for anybody to be killed. As for swinging, what's wrong with adults having cosentual sex. There is something very twisted about Islamists and police killing people and jailing them for having sex which is an act of love.

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Sunday, October 05, 2008

Fuck these crazy Imams



This little shit is Mohammed Al Habdan, a Saudi Imam who has recently called on women to wear a full veil, or niqab, that reveals only one eye.

According to this moron, a niqab that shows both eyes is too sexy. The whole veil thing is getting very silly. First they came up with the veil that covers the hair, then the niqab, and now the one eye business.

The dick head Habdan is also quoted as saying that women should not get out of their homes at all unless they are sick or dying and need urgent medical attention.

He has also criticized the Saudi information minister because the Saudi TV (which is one of the most dull TV channels in the whole world) is too obscene.

Somebody has to stop those crazy imams from spreading their cancerous poison. If this madness was restricted to the confines of the borders of Saudi Arabia it would have been fine. The danger is that this shit travels around very fast and nowhere in the world can be immune.

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