Kalb-Baladi

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Perverted Or Just Kinky?

The recent videos published on the internet of people being abused by police officers in Egypt were hardly commented on in Egyptian mainstream media. I thought there would be a huge outcry (especially with the one showing a policeman inserting a stick in a man's asshole), but it didnt happen. Has it become an acceptable fact of life that law enforcement officers are perverted? Or maybe I am over reacting? It just struck me the other day that the name of our interior minister (Habib El Adly) sounds in Arabic like a sexual perversion, but then again it could just be my sick and twisted mind. It's worth having a debate on wether Egyptian police are perverts or just a little bit kinky, but you have to remember that the difference between kinky and perverted is that kinky involves using a feather. whereas perverted involves using the whole chicken. I wouldnt be surprized if entire farmyards (farmers included) can be found in Egyptian police cells.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Stella Beer Contains Female Hormones


I am not anti-feminist, but I couldn't resist posting this:

The latest scientific research confirms the theory that beer contains small but significant traces of female hormones.

In tests conducted by scientists at MIT, 12 bottles of Stella beer were administered each night for six months on a group of 100 volunteers. During which time, it was observed that 100 percent of them gained weight, grew breasts, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and could no longer drive properly or park in narrow spaces.

But you know what? I don't care. I'll keep on drinking Stella.

Un-fucking-believable

Read this article by Lubna Hussain, published in the Saudi newspaper "Arab News". She is commenting on an incident where a Saudi doctor from King Saud University insisted upon the expulsion of all women from a medical conference before he condescended to present his paper.

She describes the guy as "absurd, ridiculous, pathetic and prehistoric". I would go for a shorter description: "DICK HEAD"

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Good News... And Bad News

The good news is that the Egyptian blogger Rami Siyam was released on Thursday, four days after the ministry of interior scum bags detained him, but the bad news is that another blogger, Kareem Amer, who was arrested earlier this month, has had his detention extended by more than two weeks. Rami Siyam was detained in downtown Cairo early Sunday. Siyam has been running his blog since May 2005, kicking the government's ass and publishing information on police torture.

Rami's Blog
Kareem's Blog

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

If I Were A Rich Man :)

Dear God, you made many, many poor people.
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor.
But it's no great honor either.
So what would have been so terrible if I'd had a small fortune?
(from fiddler on the roof)

The Unholy Alliance Between The Egyptian Government and The Islamists

500 intellectuals signed a petition charging that the coalition between the Islamists and the regime against the culture minister Farouk Hosni (who recently criticized the "Islamic" veil) exemplified "the depth of the collusion between corruption and fundamentalism". Alaa al-Aswani, who wrote the best-selling novel "Yacoubian Building", also defended Hosni in the name of freedom of expression. "It is utter hypocrisy and it shows the convergence between the Islamists and this regime in an attempt to gag the Egyptian people and stop them from thinking," he said.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Hypocricy At It's Fucking Finest

Egypt's ruling National Democratic Party (NDP) joined the opposition Muslim Brotherhood on Monday in attacking Culture Minister Farouk Hosni for saying that wearing the Muslim headscarf was a "step backwards".

Fucking pussies.

Two pillars of the ruling party, Parliamentary Speaker Fathi Surour and presidential chief of staff Zakaria Azmi, criticised the minister in parliament, adding to the pressure on Hosni to resign after 19 years in office. After NDP members asked for Hosni's dismissal, Surour said: "If an official wants to express personal opinions, he should free himself of the public responsibility he has assumed."

Why??? Who said so??? And why are ministers and religious leaders getting away with their personal opinion bullshit???

Hosni, an abstract painter known for his liberal views, said in remarks published last Thursday Egypt would not progress as long as its people depend on religious edicts "worth 5 cents". "Our mothers ... used to go to universities and work without wearing a headscarf, so why are we going backwards now?" the independent Al-Masry Al-Youm newspaper quoted him as saying. The minister later said the remarks, which sparked outrage in the Egyptian media, represented his personal views and were not meant for publication. In Monday's parliamentary debate at least two lawmakers suggested that the minister was homosexual, an allegation that would further undermine his standing among conservatives. Azmi, President Hosni Mubarak's chief of staff, said: "We cannot allow anyone to insult Islam... The culture minister should not have talked about religious matters." Another minister, Mufid Shehab, said Hosni would attend a debate with two parliamentary committees. "After that parliament will be free to take whatever measures it likes towards the minister," he added, indicating that the government was not insisting that he stay in office.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

"As Long As There Is In My Chest A Heart That Beats"


Mubarak wants to remain president until he dies
He told an assembly of dick heads, known as the Egyptian parliament, "I will continue with you the path of transition to the future, bearing the responsibility and burdens of it, as long as there is in my chest a heart that beats and I draw breath."
The dick heads errupted in a standing ovation.
Political analyst Mohamed el-Sayed Said, deputy director of the al-Ahram Centre for Political and Strategic Studies, said: "The language that he used is the language you use when you say I'm staying in power until I pass away."
Do we really need a "political analyst" to figure this one out??? But thanks anyway Mr. Said.
Mubarak is 78, and nobody knows how long he will keep his heart in that chest of his and keep the breathing going. According to the W.H.O. life expectancy among males in Egypt is 66, so Mubarak is doing very well (compared to the rest of us). The highest life expectancy in the world is in Japan (82) and the good life that Mubarak has lived would probably put him up there with the Japanese. Realistically, the guy has been president for 25 years and even if he lives till he's a hundred years old, there will come a time when he will need some help, most likely from his son Gamal who will eventually take over.
My problem with this is that Mubarak's policies during the past 25 years turned Egypt into a fucked up place and was directly (or indirectly) responsible for the rising trend of Islamic radicalization. Gamal will follow the footsteps of his father (the corruption and human rights abuses and all the rest of it) which means that we are in deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep shit.
Mubarak also said today that he would propose changing the constitution to make it easier for the opposition to seek the presidency. I dont know what this is supposed to mean for anyone who would want to challenge Mubarak the son, but there is an admission here that the last presidential elections were constitutionally dodgy.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The Muslim Brothers Unleash Jihad Against Hosni

I was waiting for this. Here you go:
Muslim Brotherhood called Friday for Culture Minister Farouk Hosni's resignation for saying the wearing of Islamic veils was a "regressive" trend. Muslim Brotherhood deputy Hamdi Hassan said: "We have presented an urgent appeal to parliament demanding that Culture Minister Faruq Hosni be relieved of his duties after statements in which he said that wearing the veil is 'regressive'." Hassan, who initiated the appeal, urged parliament to "remove this minister and replace him with a minister of culture who will respect our constitution, our Sharia (Islamic law) and our values". "The appeal was presented to parliament Thursday evening, and will be examined in the coming days," he said.

But hang on a second. I thought the Muslim Brothers were demanding more democracy and freedom in Egypt. Doesn't freedom allow people to speak their minds? So why are they trying to gag Farouk Hosni?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is just a little taste of what we'll get if the Brothers take power in Egypt.

I cant believe this. They wont allow a government minister to speak when they are an outlawed group. I wonder what they will do to us if they become the rulers?

Muslim Brothers, FUCK YOU.

But you know what the sad thing is? We only have two options, either Gamal Mubarak or the Muslim Brothers. WE ARE FUCKED.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Islamic Veil is Regressive

Egyptian culture minister Farouk Hosni said in an interview that the ever-growing number of women wearing the Islamic veil in Egypt marked a "regressive" trend.

"There was an age when our mothers went to university and worked without the veil. It is in that spirit that we grew up. So why this regression?," he said in the independent Al Masri Al Yom daily.

"Each woman with her beautiful hair is like a flower, and should not be concealed from the view of others," he said, arguing: "Religion today focuses on appearances too much.

"A woman's true veil is the inner veil, not the visible one," Hosni went on, adding: "The relationship between God and a person does not hinge on the latter's sartorial decisions."

"Egypt must go back to being beautiful and stop imitating other Arab countries, who once considered it [equal] to Europe," Hosni said.

This is one of the very rare times that I find myself in agreement with a member of the Egyptian government.

I wonder what the Mufti and the Azhar dudes will think of that. It's good to have a liberal minister like Farouk Hosni, but on the other hand we have our great mufti who just a few months ago issued a fatwa against statues.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I know that smoking is bad for you, but for fuck's sake give me a break

Islamic religious police in Somalia arrested 22 people for smoking cigarettes in the Somali port of Kismayo, where they will be flogged if found guilty of violating a new tobacco ban. Local Islamist officials announced a total ban on the use of tobacco in the key southern port, in a new sign that Somalia is going down the drain. The Islamists, who seized Mogadishu in June and now control most of southern and central Somalia, have enacted Sharia in varying degrees but have banned live music and closed down cinemas and photo shops in most areas. Immagine this shit happening in Egypt, no smoking, no shisha, no live music and no cinemas.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Egyptian Police Brutality


The Sandmonkey's blog has a new post about police brutality in Egypt. It contains a link to video showing a police officer torturing a man by inserting a wooden stick in his anus. Very disturbing video. My first reaction when I saw this shit was that this video should be removed from the internet because the victim is clearly identifiable (or his face should be obscured). What this video exposes is that Egyptian police employs terrorists not law enforcement officers. If police services around the world were buildings, the Egyptian Police would be a public toilet, seriously filthy and always out of order. On the ministry of interior's web site, I found the minister Habib El Adly's email, so I sent him an email asking him to investigate the video, prosecute the officer who did this and all the dick heads who appear in the video and compensate the victim and while he's at it release Kareem Amer and resign. I know he wont reply because he is a criminal himself and should be tried along with all his sadist scumbags.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I am VERY pissed off

Kareem Amer, a 22 year old blogger has been arrested. He is charged with:

- Spreading data and malicious rumors that disrupt public security.

(excuse me, but how can a blog disrupt public security? Sounds like bullshit to me)

- Defaming the President of Egypt

(So fucking what?)

- Incitement to overthrow the regime upon hatred and contempt

(Huh?)

- Incitement to hate “Islam” and breach of the public peace standards

(I never knew we had public peace standards and how did Kareem breach it? Did he take part in the Cairo gang rapes?)

- Highlighting inappropriate aspects that harm the reputation of Egypt and spreading them to the public

(Let me get this right, the Egyptian government is accusing a 22 year old student of harming the reputation of Egypt. I'll add this to my prized list of classic moronic statements)

Enemies of the Internet

Another great Egyptian achievement. We made to the list of 13 "enemies of the internet" that has been released by human rights group Reporters Without Borders (RSF).

The list includes these great nations: Saudi Arabia, Belarus, Myanmar, China, North Korea, Cuba, Egypt, Iran, Uzbekistan, Syria, Tunisia, Turkmenistan and Vietnam.

How wonderful it is to see Egypt proudly standing shoulder to shoulder with all these countries against the evils of the internet.

RSF mentioned that three bloggers were arrested in June 2006 and were held for two to three months for calling for democratic reforms. Others have been harassed, such as Coptic blogger Hala Helmi Botros, who was forced to close down her blog in August under pressure from the police. Finally, a Council of State administrative court recently ruled that the authorities could block, suspend or close down any website likely to pose a threat to “national security.” This could open the way to extensive online censorship.

Monday, November 06, 2006

My dear colleagues

I want to get some of the people I work with on a space shuttle and eject them into deep space

Corruption

The global watchdog "Transparency International" published today its annual corruption perceptions index spotlighting the cleanest states and naming and shaming the worst. The 2006 Corruption Perceptions Index ranks 163 countries on a scale of zero (highly corrupt) to 10 (highly clean) based on polls from experts and business sources.

Jointly sharing the number one clean list rank this year are Finland, Iceland and New Zealand with each having a score of 9.6. Denmark came in fourth place with 9.5 followed by, Singapore, Sweden and Switzerland.

You guessed it. Arab countries didn't do very well. Egypt and Saudi Arabia shared the 70th place with a poor score of 3.3.

And our pious leaders still have the guts to appear on TV praying in mosques.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sadam, payback time


Saddam Hussein is a modern day Genghis Khan, Stalin or Hitler. Like all of these mother fuckers, he caused big, big trouble.

Today in Iraq, Saddam was sentenced to death by hanging, and there were jubilations in Shiaa areas and angry demonstrations in his home town of Tikrit. No one is debating today wether or not they support capital punishment (not the best day for this debate - btw I dont support capital punishment, even for Saddam.)

What will happen next? An appeal will be heard within a month. If the death sentence is upheld, it must be carried out within 30 days.

Execution is by hanging, although Saddam has asked for a firing squad.

It is unclear whether he can be executed before the other trial he's on (Anfal trial) concludes.

In addition, he may face other charges relating, for instance, to the suppression of the 1991 Shia and Kurdish uprisings or the wars with Iran and Kuwait.

There were some questions raised about the fairness of the trial, but surely it was fairer than courts held under his regime.

Also, the verdict comes very conveniently a few days before the US votes in mid-term elections. Nice one!

However, alot of us Arabs are encouraged that our dictators (and members of their regimes) who terrorise the shit out of us, can end up losing their heads just like it happened with the former Romanian dictator Nicolai Ceaucescu when he faced the firing squad on December 25, 1989. So, to all the rest of the scumbags who are still in power: watch out, you could be next.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Fucking Amazing

Israel and Denmark are Egypt's worst enemies, according to a poll measuring Egyptian attitudes to various countries published this week by a government body.

A random sample of 1,000 Egyptians over the age of 18 were interviewed and here are the findings:

92 percent consider Israel an enemy. Only two percent of Egyptians interviewed consider Israel a "friend". Over 60 percent of Egyptians also consider Denmark an enemy (shit). Egypt's third enemy is the United States, according to over 50 percent of those interviewed for the poll. On the other hand, Egypt's closest friend is considered by 92 percent of respondents to be Saudi Arabia (double shit), followed closely by Lebanon, Palestine, Sudan and Syria.

The Israel and the US part is not a surprize to me. What I find alarming is the Denmark and Saudi Arabia bit.

There are two possible explanations for this madness, either the 1000 Egyptians chosen for the poll were all assholes and thus they dont represent us, or 92% of us are assholes. OMG!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Blogging

I wish I could blog more often, but sadly I have this thing called "a life" that keeps getting in the way.

I wish I could quit my job and be able to just do the fun things in life. Would be nice, wouldn't it.

Today I was browsing the internet trying to find something to blog about, because blogging is the art of covering your ignorance with the fig leaf of browsing.

I went through the two biggest Egyptian newspapers (Alahram and Alakhbar), but all I got out of them was a taste of what I imagine retardedness will feel like, when all the pollutants I inhaled in Cairo finally take effect on my brain cells.